#source: MBMBAM

[incorrecthatchetfield]

[Ted driving Pete and Richie home from school]

Richie: What is your favorite wizard swear?

Pete: Is there any context to the question, Richie?

Richie: Of course not, Peter.

Pete: Ok...

Ted: I think I really like "fuck".

[omgtheywereawooomates]

Peter: You could use God's keys...... which is what I call a brick

Stiles: 🫩

[derpylittlenico]

Stiles: Ghosts don't like salt. They have high blood pressure.

Derek: ???

Peter: ...

[theamityelf]

Doug: I have recently developed a strange fear that when I'm in the shower with the curtain drawn, there's a deranged killer in the bathroom that's about to kill me. How can I overcome this strange phobia?

Uma: Here's the thing. This is a good question, because I went through the same thing.

Doug: How did you get over it?

Uma: A few things. First of all, play a song on the radio that's too happy to be murdered to. If a killer did break into my room and my music is blasting, I'm just gonna be like, "I'm too fvcking strong and WAY too fvcking sexy to be killed in this shower right now." And then I'm just dancing around their flurry of stabs. Nobody has ever died while listening to a Beyonce song, because you're too strong and sexy and powerful.

Doug: Okay. What were your other ideas?

Harry: Bring a knife into the shower.

Uma: They're never gonna see that coming. Stab 'em right in the eye.

Harry: You thought the psycho was out there? Surprise, the psycho is in here, with the Irish Spring on him!

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

You're Babying Jaune

Jaune: I had my own discrete birthday-

Mama Arc: Yep, you didn't need to share your birthday.

Jaune: People loved that about me.

Mama Arc: You came down - *Dreamy sigh* He was like a little shaft of light from heaven! he came down, with his head full of golden curls-

Saphron: If he didn't have- If he looked the Faintest bit Ill, like- if he got winded on the stairs, it was "you look too sick to go to school today, Jaune!"

Anna: There was a time-

Jaune: Sickly boy-

Anna: There was a time when I thought he secretly had, whatever the kid in Secret Garden has, where it's like, "he can't go outside" Because You'd be like "No not our wee baby boy Jaune!"

Saphron: Yeah, I thought he had like, Glass Bones Disease, and he couldn't be outside or else He'd shatter.

Anna: We had to- no joke, Saph and I staged an intervention for our parents-

Saphron: Like we had to talk to you guys about how easy-

Anna: Like you're babying Jaune.

Saphron: You're babying Jaune.

Anna: You're still babying Jaune.

Mama Arc: But here he is!

Saphron: Yeah! With his Weak, glass bones!

Mama Arc: *Turning to Jaune* You- you okay? OYu need something to drink or anything?

Jaune: I could use some Appy slices, actually, if you wouldn't mind.

Mama Arc: And a little Peanut butter to dip them in?

Jaune: FUCKING OF COURSE I WANT PEANUT BUTTER, PRISMEYA!

[incorrectfantasticfour]

Sue: You look terrible, when did you go to bed? Johnny: I passed out at 11:30. Sue: Ok, that's not too bad- Johnny: Then I woke up an hour later for a snack and played Mario Kart with Spidey until about 4:30 in the morning. Sue: Johnny: I'm ready for the lecture. Sue: YOU PLAYED MARIO KART WITHOUT ME?!

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Jade: i have spotify. open. right now on my computer. do you want me to blast you? do you want me to put you on blast cuz i got your history right here in the side bar take it back by jimmy buffet. nautical wheelers by jimmy buffet. jolly mon sing by jimmy buffet. STEAMER by jimmy BUFFET! treat her like a LADY by jimmy BUFFET! mañana by jimmy BUFFET! WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET. HaVaNa Daydreaming by Jimmy Buffet. what the FUCK happened to you? are you HAUNTED? are you FUCKING POSESSED??

Jade: YOU USED TO BE MY BROTHER

[incorrect-hermits]

Scar: Beach t-shirts relax me now. I dunno what it is--

Grian: We’re killing fashion, one shirt at a time. Take that!

Scar: I w-uh… So sue me! It’s October. I’d like to live in island time for a day. Cut me some slack.

Grian: I have spotify open right here on my computer. Do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? Because I got your history right here in the sidebar: Take It Back by Jimmy Buffet, Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffet, Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffet, Steamer by Jimmy Buffet, Treat Her Like A Lady by Jimmy Buffet, Manana by Jimmy Buffet, WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUM BY JAMES BUFFET, HAVANA. DAYDREAMING BY JIMMY BUFFET! WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO YOU?!

Scar: I had a case of the Mondays!

Grian: Are you haunted? Are you POSSESSED?

Scar: I had a case of the Mondays… I had those old Monday blues and I was just trying to chase ‘em away…

[hawkinsincorrect]

Nancy: Some of us - and I don't want to name names - make pretty bad throat noises when we drink. And it makes me think that the throat is -

Steve: Is it me?

Nancy: No.

Robin: Is it me?

Nancy: ...It's not Steve.

[incorrectcampcampbellquotes]

Max: Some of us - and I don't wanna name names - make pretty bad throat noises when we drink. And it makes me think that the throat is - Harrison: Is it me? Max: No. Nurf: Is it me? Max: ...It's not Harrison.

[incorrectoldgodsquotes]

Marcie: Some of us - and I don't want to name names - make pretty bad throat noises when we drink. And it makes me think that the throat is - Ellie: Is it me? Marcie: No. Melvin: Is it me? Marcie, laughing: It's not Ellie.

[incorrecthatchetfield]

Ted: You look terrible, when did you go to bed?

Pete: I passed out at 11:30.

Ted: Ok, that's not too bad-

Pete: Then I woke up an hour later for a snack and played Mario Kart with Richie until about 4:30 in the morning.

Ted:

Pete: I'm ready for the lecture.

Ted: YOU PLAYED MARIO KART WITHOUT ME?!

[omgtheywereawooomates]

Stiles: The gun is decorative, the werewolf is practical

Chris: *sputters*

Peter: *gleefully chomps fangs*

[derpylittlenico]

Brett: At this point, every round mammal is a hamster to me.

Liam: ...coconut?

Scott: I think we have different definitions of what a mammal is.

[beatlesdiscord]

Paul: some of us... I don't wanna name names... snore really loudly when we sleep, and it makes me think-

George: is it me?

Paul: no

Ringo: is it me?

Paul:

Paul: ... it's not George

[correctmickeyquotes]

Max: I have Spotify open right now on my computer, do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? Cuz I've got your history right here on the sidebar,

Max: Take it Back by Jimmy Buffet, Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffet, Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffet, Steamer by Jimmy Buffet, trEAT HER LIKE A LADY BY JIMMY BUFFET, MAÑANA BY JIMMY BUFFET, WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET, HAVANA DAYDREAMIN BY JIMMY BUFFET- What the FUCK happened to you?!

Goofy: *laughing* I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS

Max: ARE YOU HAUNTED?! ARE YOU FUCKING POSSESSED?! YOU USED TO BE MY DAD

Goofy: *cry laughing* ᴵ ᴴᴬᴰ ᴬ ᶜᴬˢᴱ ᴼᶠ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴹᴼᴺᴰᴬʸˢ